Monday, 22 June 2009
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Currently
Casting Crowns
By Casting Crowns
see relatedhe knows...
Braden leaves tonight for two and a half weeks at his grandparent's house. We live a mere 3,000 miles away from them. He gets on a plane at 10:00 p.m. to fly all the way across the country by himself.
He is excited, ecstatic, borderline giddy with anticipation. His grandparents live on a tree farm with thirty acres to roam, a pond to swim and play in, four wheelers, gardens, a green house and lots of tools for woodworking and building. Everything a twelve-year-old boy could want in a summer get-away.
A friend called me a few minutes ago to ask if I was ok. Ok? Huh? Then I realized what she meant. I should probably express my concern for his safety and the dread of having him gone for so long. I should be a little teary as he steps on the plane. I should make homemade cookies for him to eat while traveling. I should write little notes and put them in an envelope for him to open occasionally while he's there to know I love him. I should be in his room helping him pack - spending a last few quiet hours together.
The truth is, I'm just not that type of mom. I love him. He's a great kid and certainly the easiest of my five. But I've never been that sentimental or emotional. A small part of me will miss him, but the larger part of me is simply excited for the fun and experiences I know he will have. I wrote a packing list, printed it out and sent him off to express his independence by packing himself. I did not make cookies, but I reminded him on the list to pack snacks for the plane and there are Oreos in the pantry. Does that count? ha!
I didn't write little notes, because that kids knows I love him. He knows that I am so proud I could burst sometimes. He's intelligent, articulate, polite and kind. He is already taller than me, broad shouldered and handsome. He is athletic and musical, and hardly ever passes by me without giving me a hug. Yeah, he knows I'm pretty crazy about him.
Happy travels, Braden....
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Comments (6)
So, do the kids take turns doing this or is this the first time for any of them to go for the summer. My mom asked me this last year when I'll start flying Brooke down to see her and I just laughed. I couldn't imagine ever doing that...but then Brooke is only six and a girl...maybe in a few years I'd be more open to the idea.
@alaskamommy - Tanner took the trip when he was twelve and it was a great experience. I would hope that all the kids get a chance to go - and yes, you'll feel different as she gets older.
You sound just like me. I am always happy for my kids to go on great adventures. Other mother's make me fee guilty because I don't send love notes, cookies, or cry when they leave. I guess it is just because we are so excited for them. Heh! We can always email or call them any time. Tanner will have a great time. It is funny how the home life changes with one missing, though. :)
@fossflock - Thanks, Eunice, for saying that. You are so right about the house changing when one is gone! Many people think that when you have five having one gone wouldn't be noticed, but it sure is!!
Tori: It's never easy letting them go. There's always an ache in my heart when my kids are away from home. I don't think you can be a mom and not feel that way. I selfishly want to keep my kids with me all the time. But, like you, I know it's good for them to go on these excursions. Don't beat yourself up though.....you've just got a "mommy ache".....perfectly normal. It's never easy, but it's always good.
When my kids leave I cry over the silly things...like setting the table for dinner with one less plate. Or walking by an empty room at night. Preparing dinner and thinking about what the absent one likes to eat. The smell of them on their pillow. A song that we both enjoy.....it's much more than just saying goodbye. When Tanisha left for college I cried every night for two weeks straight. I try really hard not to show them how hard it is for me. I know it's best for them to go off into the world. We raise them to be independent, responsible, adventuresome.....we've prepared them. And mentally, I'm prepared. I just don't think my heart can ever prepare enough.
Soon he'll be home. One step closer to manhood. With a new set of experiences to make him more independent and more prepared for the world. But still in need of a hug from mom.
Hang in there. I'll pray for you all. - Laurie Wezensky
Hey Tori!! I've enjoyed reading your blog lately! You are a girl after my own heart. My kids are gone often these days now that they are getting older and honestly, yeah, the house isn't the same...it's a lot quieter, that's for sure. But like you, I'm excited to see them maturing and enjoying life's experiences. Sometimes it's difficult to see them make mistakes, but hey, we all do that. The joy is seeing them learn from their mistakes. I have a hard time not stepping in and fixing it for them but it's so rewarding to hear them tell me what they've learned through it all. You're a great mom! And just because you don't cry when they're gone or whatever doesn't mean you don't care....I think it means that you've showed them you care so much when they're around that they don't need the reassurance when they're not!! They do know you love them and that's why they're able to go and do those things! Keep up the good work! Miss you!